I’ve often thought that it might be profitable to start up a bunch of fake accounts on various dating sites where I present myself as a woman in order to obtain “monetary gifts” from unsuspecting, desperate/stupid guys. Honestly, you don’t have to sit in any bar all that long before you end up meeting some idiot who has a sob story about how he sent a bunch of money to a woman he met on the internet only to have “her” never follow through on the promises she made.
“I’m so excited to come and see you, but my car broke down and I have to get repairs.”
“I was just my way out the door when my grandma got sick and now I have thousands of dollars in medical bills to pay.”
I had one guy who commented on this blog who claimed he had sent $80,000 to some girl he had met in Peru because people in her family kept getting “sick.”
Actually, now that I’m married I don’t have to listen to sob stories like this anymore since I’m not out in bars talking to random strangers. But man…those days used to be infuriating, as much for the idiot guys you talked to as the bitter women who are convinced that men are the source of all evil in the world.
I’m in the middle of reading a book where the author (who is female) keeps talking about men “using” women while all her female characters are overtly guilty of similar acts of treachery and exploitation.
One of my major frustrations of my twenties was how anti-male the US is. This thought is extra annoying because people just laugh at you if you even try to bring it up. Before I really solidified what I thought about things, this universal dismissal caused me a certain amount of stress because I couldn’t help doubting myself. Now, however, I’ve pretty much resigned myself to understanding that the majority of people in the world are total imbeciles, so it doesn’t matter what they think (heck, people denied the fact that the Earth revolves around the sun for centuries too…it didn’t make it false).
But it’s the anti-male nature of the US that makes American men easy targets for unscrupulous women throughout the world (if you read some of the comments on this post, you’ll see some of the misadventures people have had). In fact, when I was in Peru it was the common assessment of most of the kind and genuine Peruvian women that I met that American men were subjected to pretty extreme emotional abuse in their homeland and that they needed a couple of years in Peru (where they were treated like human beings) just to achieve a healthy mental state.
This whole problem comes from the fact that men are socially conditioned to be “stoic” where women are allowed to be “emotional.” As a result, male issues just aren’t discussed much even though they are more inclined to commit suicide, suffer from alcoholism, be incarcerated, etc. I mean, all you have to do is look at the facts to realize something is wrong, but since the US has a general disdain for the scientific method, people just jump to absurd conclusions. Since they don’t dig very deep they think, “women suffer in our society” and since they never talk about male suffering, the resultant hypothesis is that “men are the cause of suffering.”
A far more reasonable thing to assume would be this:
- Both men and women suffer from ridiculous gender stereotypes.
- These stereotypes come from society.
- Both men and women contribute to society.
- Both genders are responsible for inequality and suffering.
I actually have heard stories of American women coming to Peru and getting suckered into some BS marriage where they end up sending their life savings South of the border, but not as many as those of the men I’ve heard who’ve spent ridiculous amounts of money.
And you know, it’s funny to think that a person intelligent enough to make that much money in the first place, would be stupid enough to just hand it over at the first sight of a fluttering eyelid. But hey, we all know that people do crazy things for “love.” Maybe the fact that love is so romanticized is one of the ways that society has been specifically constructed to exploit men? The true part of love, the hard work and dedication that you settle gently into after a couple kids and a mortgage is, yes, admittedly wonderful. But when love is talked about in general in our society it’s usually that early phase when you’re essentially losing your mind.
I guess the test for deciding whether or not you should get married (both for men and for women) is to remember that marriage isn’t a fairy tale, marriage is a business relationship. I don’t mean to sound cynical when I say that, in fact I think you’re paying your spouse a compliment if you admit you’re willing to start a business with him/her.
And those of you who raised up your eyebrows at the thought of marriage being a business, let me ask you this: are you willing to sign an ironclad prenuptial agreement to make marriage NOT a business? (I always think it’s amusing how people say “you wouldn’t ask me to sign a prenuptial agreement if you really loved me…a person who truly loves you should INSIST on a prenup!”).
Once you’re married, you’ve given your partner control over your CHILDREN not to mention your assets. If this person isn’t somebody you’d trust operating your business for a weekend, then you’ve just made a grave error.
But most of the time it doesn’t get that far with American men who fall in love over the internet (and to be honest, many of those internet relationships DO end up working out). A lot of the time they just dumbly send money to Peru through Paypal or something else. They do this because doing that still gives them a greater approximation of love than they’re likely to get by going to an American bar and getting mistreated by a bleached-blond chick who is $300,000 in debt and STILL thinks she’s too good for him.