Americans: Don’t Be Douchbags About the World Cup

When I lived in Peru, I started marking my time there by world cups.  There was a world cup going on when I first arrived (where the US did surprisingly well), then there was one going on when I was teaching and where I met my future wife.  By the next world cup, we’d be having our first child together.  Now it’s time for another world cup (man…time goes by fast), and although I still don’t know football (or soccer as Americans call it) backwards and forwards…I know enough to be able to say with conviction that the US made a mistake by not sending Landon Donovan.

Americans have this big “thing” about ripping on soccer like doing so is some sort of comedic gold.  Hey…I did the same thing for my first year or two while living in Peru until I got the conditioning worked out of me by the frank awesomeness of the World Cup.  I’m sure that to this day you won’t be able to walk around Pizza St. or the Ovalo de Miraflores without overhearing some Americans grunt through some idiotic comment about what “real” football is.

Honestly folks, don’t even try to explain it to them.  Just bribe a police officer to hassle them on the way to the airport (it’ll be hilarious).

Even if you know nothing about soccer, you can enjoy the world cup.  How?  Because it makes EVERYONE in South America super excited!  I’m telling you folks that if I was a young single man, I would sell everything I owned, quit my job, and spend all my money on a ticket to Brazil for this World Cup.  It’s gong to be the greatest party in a thousand years.  Heck, I wouldn’t even worry about getting a ticket for a game.  Just be there hanging out and soaking it all in!

The sourpuss American anti-soccer attitude is just idiotic.  If everybody is around you having fun, why wreak it with smart-alec, stereotypical comments that are just rehashes of thousand year old jokes (that weren’t funny in the first place)?  Go with the flow man!  If something makes everybody happy and excited, don’t bring them down.  That’s no trick!  People are angry and miserable all the time, let them indulge in something that makes them happy for a change.

So don’t be the douchbag American making stupid jokes while you’re hanging out in Peru this World Cup season.  This is the best time to visit South America, when every bar on every street corner will be HOWLING with excited, rabid fans ready to drink and scream at a TV with you.  At the outcome of the game, the parties really start, so ENJOY IT!

Switching gears, I’ve been erratic with my posts on Streets of Lima lately, but that’s because I’ve been busy.  These days, I’m doing a lot on my Heroic Fantasy Writers blog, so give that a look if you haven’t been there yet (be sure to subscribe in the email list please).

My current publisher, Janet Morris, is giving a talk at the Library of Congress on June 25th, which I plan to attend (I’ll be there signing books).  So if you’re in the DC area, check it out.  Here’s the Facebook event page with all the details.  It’d be cool to see some folks from Streets of Lima there.

Cheers all, and remember, when in doubt just yell “GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLL!!”

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