As I mentioned in this utterly fantastic and brilliant article, my camera recently died requiring me to go out and buy a new one. As everybody knows, when you buy any kind of electronical product these days you are suddenly inundated with a plethora of new frickin’ cables. I’m sure I’m not the only one whose computer area looks like the insides of C-3PO. For the most part, I like to just keep said cables stuck into the USB ports so I know where they are, but since my computer’s only got 3 ports and I need one for the mouse and one for the printer…I’m always switching out these other darn cables.
You’d think, however, that with the laws of probability on your side, sooner or later you’d buy a camera or cell phone or video recorder that uses a cable COMPATABLE with one you already have. BUT NOOOOOOO! Every frickin’ time it’s a new frickin’ cable! What the hell? How many cable producing factories are there in the world? And they all use USB don’t they? So they have to be at least AWARE that a single format DOES exist that they could get with the program and universally adopt. Why do all these companies feel they have to take USB as a starting point and then attach some horrendous fitting that converts whatever digital knowledge streams through there into their own sick and perverted private language?
Conform! You frickin’ jerk-licks!
I mean, look at the above photo! Those are the cables for my Olympus camera, my blackberry, and my Nokia! I didn’t even think to yank out my computer cable and show that, but it’s not the same! They’re NEVER the same! Why can’t they just once be the same?
And then there’s the various memory sticks. You simply can’t buy two cameras at any point in your life and expect to be able to switch the memory sticks from one to another. Naaawwww…that’s just completely unreasonable to even think of. I suppose it’s some sick marketing ploy so that you have to continually buy the same brand that repeatedly fails on you (thus provoking the necessity to buy another product two or three years down the line). It’s a sick, never ending cycle. I’m sure everybody’s had the experience of finally getting to that long awaited month where you’ve finished paying for that damn refridgerator or whatever and you’re looking forward to having a little extra spending money so you can…I don’t know, order a pizza or get that dialsys treatment you’ve been needing…only to have your camera frickin’ break thus giving you an extra unanticipated expense. But not only do you have to buy a new camera, you have to buy the whole packet of accessories because none of your previous ones are compatable and you sure as hell aren’t going to buy the same crappy brand again!
It’s a conspiracy, it’s the same reason that they sell hot dogs in packets of 7 but buns in packets of 13, this is all coldly calculated for somebody else’s profit and your loss (like all things in the world).
This makes me FURIOUS, it makes me even more furious than DIRECTV FURIOUS (which is pretty furious and contains Indiana Jones), no, this makes me INDIANA JONES FURIOUS PLUS CRISTIAN BALE FURIOUS, the regining king champion of fury:
Yep, that’s what I’d like to do to those dingleberries. Watching that video makes me feel a little better…but I could still feel even MORE better (how about the six grammatical errors in that sentence? Don’t bother me, I’m all worked up…here, go and read this).