So there I was, innocently walking through Miraflores when suddenly this massive parade just spontaneously broke out. I kept turning to my wife and saying, “is that the end?” and she just looked at me increadulously and said, “that was just the first five minutes.”
This parade went on forever! And dudes and dudesses, you would not BELIEVE some of the shit that came prancing by.
First of all there were girls dancing and sprinting and spinning their way down the street in HIGH HEELS! Just imagine that shit happening anywhere else in the world but Lima. It wouldn’t. But Peruvian women are TOUGH and they never bitch about their feet hurting (besides, nobody EVER forces anybody to wear the shoes they have on, so if you can’t take it…just don’t wear them!).
Then there were a bunch of native girls carrying anacondas with their tops just PAINTED on! Seriously!
And of course, there were the obligatory dragons which were carried by like fifty people who sprinted and panted and occasionally crouched down in the alley to suck on bags of water and vomit.
But the guys that really stood out in my head were the dudes in the above picture. I mean, what would you even CALL those guys? Fauns? Satyrs? Something like that.
My wife looked at them and said, “oh, they’re from Narnia!” and for her that was sufficient explanation and she was able to move on to the next exhibit.
But for me, that just wasn’t enough. I mean, there was only one Satyr in Narnia that I remember, and he was short and harmless, he wasn’t like fifteen feet tall and carrying a mean spear! I don’t think these were Narnia Satyrs, in fact, I don’t know what the hell kind of Satyrs they were. I STILL don’t!
But you know, seeing those guys got me thinking…or more accurately…REMEMBERING. You see, there have been many nights that I have stumbled home to my cockroach infested room here in Lima at like 4 in the morning. I’ve been stumbling along, kind of loosing my way, only to come around a corner and see something like one of those fifteen foot guys standing alone in some wet alley with the flickering light of an evening street lamp illuminating him only eerily.
You see, these are the type of guys who LIVE in Lima, because Lima is fucking magic and your city fucking sucks!
Long live Lima baby, this is the best city in the world!!!!