Frat Boy Humor and Generalizations


The other day my friend Mitch left an interesting comment on my page. He was being very polite and complimentary (and helping out in my defense against the attacking pitucos), but he also said “your sweeping generalizations and sometimes scaryily close to fratboy humor make me cringe a bit.” I’m only mentioning this because this phrase pretty much exactly encapsulates the skeptical attitude you should use when approaching anything I (or virtually anyone) writes. You see, and I have to admit this, at least half the time I’m just trying to unabashedly provoke my readers. Sometimes it’s just out of mischievousness, sometimes it’s out of boredom, sometimes I’m just having a bad day and I’m being unfair in my writing like a petulant child. I have no problem admitting this because it’s the truth not only with me but with everyone who has ever either picked up a pen, set a newspaper type, or struck a keyboard (I suppose that’s one of the “sweeping generalizations” that Mitch alluded to earlier). The thing is, you get a bunch of assholes who try to pretend that their personal bias never enters into their work (for some reason, Anderson Cooper jumps into my mind, I’m not sure why though…he just looks like he takes himself way too seriously). Well, not having bias enter your work is impossible on a level that you can’t even comprehend. In fact, I think the only way that you can even approximate “fairness” is to embrace your bias and state it over and over. Also, it’s important that there be a few completely absurd things written into every one of your articles or stories just to keep that kernel of skepticism burning in the minds of your readers.

Lately I’ve been reading “The Demon Haunted World” by Carl Sagan. It’s a book that pretty much tries to separate the massive amount of thoughts cluttering up your mind that come from myth and fear rather than any kind of reason (there are a lot more in there than you could possibly guess). His point is that you should be a little bit more skeptical about what you believe. I believe that skepticism is healthy and that it should extend to virtually the ENTIRE world (there’s only one person I completely trust and that’s me…and honestly, I don’t even completely trust myself in most situations).

Obviously the downside about being skeptical of EVERYTHING is that it’s EXHAUSTING (just believing like an idiot is SOOOOO MUCH easier [again “sweeping generalization”…but the only reason you would have for disagreeing with me is the fact that your thought process has been contaminated by mysticism and religion which is designed to program you into believing that you aren’t capable of making a decision on your own…SWEEPING]).

Anyway, my tactic is to just spit out my writing as fast as possible (very rarely do I even reread my articles even once to make sure I haven’t said anything contradictory or repetitive). Although this inherently means that my readers are going to have to deal with some grammatical/fluidity issues, I think that’s more than compensated by the fact that they know they’re getting an honest conversation from me, and not some political babble that’s designed to please everyone and get me re-elected. I think MY readers are going to discover that they are on a twirling carousel in which they are on a regular schedule that involves being both praised and targeted for criticism on a regular basis…and if they look to their left or right, they’ll find that I’m right there on that carousel with them.

Anyway, that’s my five minutes of pretentious theory on that subject for today…who knows, if I keep crapping on like this, maybe Mitch Teplitsky will someday do a documentary about ME (another tactic that would probably get me to enable full RSS reads)!

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