Horny Man’s Tea


Talk about a redundant name for a Tea…yup, this hasn’t been photoshopped, this is the real deal! They actually do have a brand of tea in Lima called “Hornimans,” I guess the fact that there’s no apostrophy after the “n” makes it semi legitimate, but that scantilly clad girl on the te verde box calls things back into question.

Needless to say Hornimans tea is the only tea I drink. I go into restaurants:

“Sir, what will you have to drink?”

“Got any Hornimans?”

“But of course.”

At which they whip out…er…cough, cough…

And what about the competing brands? “Flaccidmans” just doesn’t sell (who’d ask for it). However “moistvaginawomans” is extremely popular.

God, I wish I worked in advertising down here, I could lose my job just on the Hornimans campaign.

“What’s that smell? That’s the smell of Hornimans tea, who doesn’t like the taste of Hornimans in their mouth in the morning….SLUUUURP…that’s Hornimans good! With just one quick shot of Hornimans, you’re good to go ALL DAY LONG! If it ain’t Hornimans, don’t swallow it!”

Yup, that’d sell a lot of Hornimans.

Subscribe to “Streets of Lima” by Email

Previous Terminator Salvation at the Ovalo de Gutierrez
Next Bohemia Hamburgers, Lima's best

3 Comments

  1. gls5000
    09/28/2016
    Reply

    What the hell happened to them though? I originally stumbled upon this website trying to find out whether Horniman's was a name some Peruvian or Chilean had made up to sound English and got it horribly wrong as they so often do when trying to use English without native-speaker consultation. What I found was that it was an English company – The Horniman Tea Company – apparently the largest tea company in the world in 1891, which was then sold to J. Lyons and marketed in the USA till 1993… and then what?

  2. A British Person
    09/28/2016
    Reply

    More respect for this almost ancient British world-wide best selling brand please.

    God save the Queen, Rule Britannia and may Hornimans flourish for another two hundred years.

  3. Anonymous
    09/28/2016
    Reply

    it's still widely avaiable in Spain where the general English literacy is abysmal!

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *