How Much for that Crocodile Head?

Kind of bizarre really, the stuff that you can buy at Haiti. We were sitting there the other day when some dude comes walking by with this painted crocodile skull (or caiman or whatever). Initially we let him pass, but then Owen decided that he just couldn’t live without that skull, so he called the guy over and became the proud owner of that piece of animal hardware for only 40$.

We then proceeded to take some awesome pictures which were sure to piss off every environmentalist within a three country radius since they involved putting out head and arms and whatnot into the crocodile’s lifted jaws. I was thinking how funny it’d be to get a bunch of righteous e/mails from a bunch of overeducated jerks saying things like, “it’s obscene how disrespectful you are being with the remains of one of god’s most noble creatures!”

Incidentally, those people who think they’re on some kind of moral highground always piss the shit out of me since in most cases the thing they’re badgering you about is the ONE item in their whole life that they’re trying to champion to make up for the fact that they’ve been a bunch of worthless bastards in every other aspect of their existence. That’s they’re “cause” and even though they PRETEND to care about such things, they berate you from the confines of a nice warm house with internet and all the other necessities that wiped out ENTIRE crocodile (or whatever animal you like best) habitats during the course of their manufacture. The only environmentalists I respect are the ones who live in a tent submerged in about six feet of water who are hairy, stinky, and miserable (and without access to the internet so they’ll never know about this article to be offfended anyway unless it happens to be your “cause” to go and bring those jerk-offs food as they desperately attempt to survive and you happen to let the existence of this article slip…or bring a print out…on second hand…DO THAT, their inpudent rage [based on the realities of the impossible situation they’ve put themselves in] amuses me).

However, I wasn’t able to include THOSE awesome images because they were misteriously deleted from my damn computer. I don’t know what the deal is. Actually, my computer’s been being an obnoxious little bitch lately and I think it might have just gotten lazy while transfering the pictures from the camera to the hard disk (which is nearly full by the way). The other possibility is that since I happened to take these crocodile pictures on my camera’s internal memory and not the card, there was some sort of problem with storing the data/or data corruption.

In the end, I suppose I’ll just have to head over to Owen’s house with my nicer camera and try to recreate the moment in a way that the pseudo-moral loudmouths of the world will find even more offensive. Look forward to it…I know I am!

And, just for the record, I’m not really against environmentalists, I’m just against people who think they’re morally superior to me all the time.

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1 Comment

  1. 09/28/2016

    That is bad ass! I need one of those on top of my bar. I know how much my girlfriend would love to see that there! 🙂

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