My Old Garbage Zip Drive


Do you remember these things?  This is like a relic from another age, even though they were still probably in semi-common use as recently as 8 or 9 years ago.
I found this technological fossil in my stuff that’s in storage in Peru.  These were popular in the days before CD burners.  People used to use them to back up all the ridiculous BS that’s on their hard drive.
And yeah, it might sound a little arrogant to back up all your deranged rantings on hard, plastic disks, but it’s not as if psychopaths haven’t been cataloging their senseless jabber for centuries.  In the middle ages, you probably could have found a guy wearing a tinfoil helmet frantically pressing a wooden stylus into a wax tablet (yeah, they didn’t have tinfoil and they had paper…I just liked the image I was constructing).  Today it’s a lot easier, you just store your senseless, psychopathic ranting on a blog.  Pictures too, thank Galileo for Google.
Man though, when you sit back and think of just how colossally terrible those zip drives were, it just makes you quake with rage.  First of all the disks themselves were absurdly expensive.  I can’t remember how much, but I think it was somewhere between $10 and $40 for just one stupid 250MB disk.  When you consider you can get CDs for pennies and that they can store about three times as much as a zip drive, you can see how the zip market utterly exploded when reasonable burners became available.
Come to think of it, I should dig up my first old, crappy CD burner as well. It was this weird little LG CD burner/DVD player that plugged into a bizarre little two inch wide port on the side of my computer that I didn’t even know was there.
The horrible thing about that LG CD burner deal was that when I installed the software to use it, the frickin’ thing erased my hard drive.
Imagine that!  You buy a device to back up your hard drive and it frickin’ erases your hard drive.  Actually, it didn’t erase the total contents of my drive, just my DOCUMENTS!
That, of course, led me to calling LG up to complain, which got me in touch with one of those ever annoying IT guys who assumes that YOU’RE the total idiot somehow.
“Hey, your installation program just erased all my documents.”
“Uh…well…It wouldn’t have done that.”
“Well, it frickin’ did, how do I get them back.”
“Sir, the problem you are relating to me simply couldn’t have happened.”
In fairness, those people are confronted with problems all day long where the solution turns out to be, “…well, is your computer plugged in…or…is your computer turned on.”  But, and listen up here all you IT guys, SOMETIMES WE’RE NOT IDIOTS SO DON’T START WITH THAT AS YOUR DEFAULT SETTING!!!!
I never did get my files restored from the LG CD burner/DVD player incident, but fortunately I’d backed everything up on my crappy zip drive recently, so I only lost about a month of deranged ranting never to recover it.  Still, I think I was especially brilliant that month, so you can understand my pain about what I lost.
In fact, the very last thing I saved before the data loss happened was:
The meaning of life is ……

So, yeah, I would have liked to read the rest of that sentence.  Oh well.
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