This old truck sits in a rusting heap about two hundred yards away from the front entrance of my building. Most of the time it sits there like a decaying carcas which, although it’s kind of an eyesore, it doesn’t really bother me all that much because decaying carcasses don’t make any noise. But then, last Saturday at what seemed like 4:30 in the morning, the proud owners of this nearly completely oxidated beast got the bright idea of trying to bring it back to life.
Yes my friends, that crusty old tattered shell of an automobile has a functioning motor!
A LOUD motor that rattles the windows of my apartment and makes me leap out of bed like the universe is coming to a shattering end.
And no amount of eggs I throw down at them can ever get them to stop (no, I don’t really throw eggs, that was for the days of Derrick and Rex Chatterman).
But really, this isn’t even the worst of the vehicles that I’ve seen on the streets down here. Sometimes you’ll be innocently driving along and you’ll come across a truck that has literally had its spine broken. You can tell because the thing will look like a moving letter “v” and the windshield will be aiming nearly straight up. Cars like that are only a hard bump away from breaking in two and sending a thousand pound slab of metal rolling down the highway, out of control and at killer speeds.
Damn! I love it here. I truly do.
Actually, with the recession, there’s been a huge influx of new vehicles because all the jerk-off car manufacturers in the US need CASH and they’re sending their machines down here where the economy is soaring. It’s nice to see! This whole recession’s just an illusion, the only thing that caused it is a bunch of morons who have convinced themselves that they’re worth a lot more than they really are.