But I’m getting ahead of myself…here’s the deal.
Today I went with my Peruvian wife to the Social Security office in order to get her her social security number. Now, let it be known that I’ve done EVERYTHING ABSOLUTELY LEGALLY, because you’d be an idiot to attempt to do anything shady. The only problem with doing everything legally is that everybody tells you a different story. The person who interviewed us at the embassy in Peru said they’d SEND us a social security card in 3 weeks, but when we crossed the border, they said that we could APPLY for a social security card in one week, but when we actually WENT to the social security office the little old blue haired lady there said she couldn’t give us the card because we didn’t have an I-94 form!
Look, I’m all in favor of rigorous screening when you’re bringing in people from foreign countries to live in the US (or anywhere for that matter). It’s necessary and it’s just the way it has to be. However, the other thing that is just simply THE WAY IT HAS TO BE is that the rules by which you screen these people have to be CONSISTANT! There’s no just willy-nilly inventing the rules on the cuff…and also, the people who occupy these posts should KNOW THEIR FUCKING JOB and if they don’t know the answers they should stay on the phone as long as it takes until they get the RIGHT answer!
Why am I so pissed off?
Because the idiot at the Social security office in Eau Claire, Wisconsin didn’t give us a social security card on the grounds that we didn’t have an I-94 form…she even berated us for about fifteen minutes because she just PRESUMED we must have lost it.
Well, NEWSFLASH IDIOT! I called up my immigration lawyer outside the building (it had to be OUTSIDE because of course they wouldn’t fucking let me call anybody competent while I was actually IN the building, becuase that would have precluded me standing in another annoying half hour line before I got my business taken care of), and my immigration lawyer told me that they DON’T ISSUE an I-94 form for IMMIGRANT visas..they give it for NON-IMMIGRANTS, which made a lot of sense when I said it because I had to correct the idiot social security woman three times about our visa NOT being a fiancee visa (but she was just convinced that’s what it was even though IMMIGRANT VISA was printed in large block letters along the top…written in AMERICAN in red, white and blue ink to boot).
So what is the result of all of this, nothing more than instead of coming up with a cure for cancer or writing the greatest american Novel ever created, I’ll be standing in line once again at the Social Security office trying to convince some nearsighted moron who doesn’t even understand the job she’s doing that my wife came into the country on an IMMIGRANT VISA and not a FIANCEE visa and that she doesn’t have an I-94 form because THE US GOVERNMENT DOESN’T ISSUE THOSE TO IMMIGRANTS!
I’m nearing the end of all this nonsense hopefully as there aren’t all that many more cards and things that I have to apply for, but for those of you who are considering getting married to a Peruvian and then bringing him/her to the US, let me just warn you that you’re eventually going to end up being almost fluent in Immigration law by the time the whole ordeal is over…and the kicker is you HAVE to be because NOBODY behind ANY counter you go to is going to know the RULES.
I guess I should start applying for government jobs so I to can be a useless dipshit who does nothing productive with my life and just lives like a leach on the public teat. But I won’t be able to apply for anything in IMMIGRATION because, unfortunately, I ACTUALLY KNOW what the LAW is!
Just know your job people, and if you don’t know, then make a call to somebody who does. Something you SHOULDN’T do, however, is get snitty when there is no cause.