The Road is Closed to Proper English Translations!

Well, the world is just bursting with bad English translations, and this one…well…it’s not the best BAD English translation in and of itself…but give me time to work with it.  But before I do that…let me go off on a tangent.

I think that it must be the greatest job in the world to be an English translator in foreign countries.  I mean, it’s sort of like being a weatherman.  You can do your job all day, and when you’re completely and utterly wrong, you don’t get fired.  For the weathermen, the reason they don’t get fired is a mystery.  But at least you understand why it is with bad English translators.  If there were anybody around who KNEW the error…THAT person would have translated the sign in the first place.
Ok…end of tangent.
This sign is warning us that a Road is Close.  I suppose that would make sense if the sign were next to a gorilla cage and instead of Close Road the sign read Close Gorilla.  I could forgive a translator for that since “Danger Close Gorilla” is something I want to know about (I wouldn’t even bother to mention to the guy that the word “close” is more or less redundant…where gorillas are concerned, I want all the additional information I can get).
But what hell does it mean that a Road is Close?  What’s it going to do?  Jump out at you?  I suppose the guy could have written “Close Traffic” because close traffic is another danger.
Well, fortunately I speak Spanish so I can look up at the sign in Spanish and understand that what the guy was trying to tell me was that the Road was CLOSED!  See how important that D is?
Sigh…if only the municipality of Miraflores would hire ME to translate all their signs.  I’d only charge them $1,500 per square foot and nobody’d have to get all worked up about impending road or gorilla attacks.

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