Here’s a picture of a flower I think should be called a lady slipper orchid that I took at Owen’s house. I have absolutely no idea if it’s actually called that, and it has nothing more than a cursory relevance to the rest of this post.
What I really want to write about is the reaction to my post a couple days ago about the two bitchy Chilean women who decided to hassle myself, my wife, and (worst of all) my daughter, on my family’s return flight to Miami from Lima. You can read all about the episode by clicking on the highlighted section above.
Now, I wrote that article in a state of fury. As many of you know, this web page IS NOT YAHOO NEWS! I’m not the type of person who writes in a holier-than-thou tone where I criticize everyone in the world for the most minor social faux pas and act like I’m the God of etiquette. The way I look at things, there is plenty of judgement in the world, and there is no need to come to a pre-determined belief that people are assholes and then look for evidence. It’s better to spend all your energy deluding yourself into believing the world is perfect…that way you might steal a couple minutes of happiness here and there. There’s no point spending energy making yourself angry because that’s going to come with or without your effort.
Case in point being the two bitchy Chilean women who we ran into on the plane.
What I do on this blog is just purge myself of the irritation I feel when I’m hit with some ridiculous bullshit. I’m not trying to display myself to the world as the Dali Lama or Buddha who can effortlessly absorb any wrong with a smile. NO! I’m a REGULAR PERSON and people piss me off.
Now, I could have written the bitchy Chilean women story in a way that made it absolutely clear I was in the right. All that would have required is the use of a couple writer’s tricks that I’m familiar with. I could have sat there blowing smoke up your ass and at the end of the article you would have been 100% convinced that I was right and that the bitchy Chilean women were wrong.
However, that’s not what I did. The POINT of writing that article wasn’t to prove that I was in the right (I already KNEW that definitively)…the point of that article was to purge myself of the anger I felt towards those two women, and to insult them in every way possible using the worst words I could think of. Even as I was writing the article, I thought to myself, “these are some pretty charged words,” and I might have even wavered momentarily about using them, but then I took heart and decided to go through with it since these women deserved to be called the worst things I could think of…and worse really (seriously, if you mess with my wife and daughter you become less than human in my perception…and I don’t see how anybody could argue with that standpoint).
Now, let me just back up and let it be known that on my web page you aren’t going to find any racial epithets. I frequently use strong language (because I believe in freedom of speech), but I don’t see the point of insulting people racially. The problem with a racial epithet (and there are many), is that the epithet is based on superficial appearance and not behavior. People can’t help the way they look…but they can help the way they behave.
Anyway, I had one commenter who took issue with the thought that my epithets in the story were gender derivative. Honestly, I really didn’t see the objection since the two people who were causing all the problems were women. Had they been men, I would have used male typical epithets (which still might have included bitch, or whore…just because when you’re trying to insult a man, those are effective words).
It seems like I’m always getting into debates with feminists that turn into shouting matches because I have a different perspective on what constitutes equality than what is generally held in the US. Although I might seem flippant about these things, I take this issue very seriously since I’m raising a little girl and I feel a lot of the conditioning of the US makes people incapable of achieving their goals.
When I was growing up, I remember an incident where my dad accused me of being misogynist. My younger sister wanted the VCR to get programmed to record some show, so I threw her the manual.
“Well, why don’t you just program it for me?” she asked.
“You’re smart, read the manual, do it yourself.” I replied.
At this my dad got all pissed and said that I was being misogynist because she was a girl and she couldn’t program the VCR herself. Then he sat down in a huff and programmed it. Personally, I think he’s a misogynist for not thinking she could do it…but whatever. In the end, I’ve realized that I can’t control the stupid way people perceive things, but I HAVE to control how I present things to my daughter (and believe me…she’ll be programming…well, not VCRs because those are extinct…but you know what I mean).
Anyway, I came to the conclusion that the commenter was of that group that thinks some things shouldn’t be said no matter what the offense is. I personally don’t believe in absolutes like that. Yes, I used the worst possible words I could think of in that article because I think those two Chilean women were the worst and sorriest excuse for human beings that you are likely to come across (evil people aren’t the worst, people who are overtly indifferent about other human beings are). I don’t think it’s right for people to have the attitude that “no matter what they did to provoke him…he shouldn’t have responded like that.”
If people intentionally provoke you to the breaking point, they shouldn’t bitch when you break. It’s not an indication of spiritual stability that you sit there and absorb mistreatment (or that you sit there and watch as people mistreat your children), if people are doing that, they deserve to be labeled as the piece of shit human garbage that they are (notice how I’m not using gender related epithets).
One of the things that always drives me mad is when people separate their “rules” of human behavior into gender compartments. For example, I hate it when people say, “I’m against violence against women.” What the hell does that mean anyway, that they’re totally OK with violence against children and men? If you are against violence, why can’t you just say “I’m against violence.” Why do you have to provide the “against women” caveat? What does that prove.
But what about this scenario? What if you see a woman with postpartum depression drowning her kids. What if you have to beat her in the face to save the children? Are you not going to do it because you’re against violence against women? These aren’t the three laws of robotics, if you’d just said, “I’m against violence against HUMAN BEINGS” you would then have the loophole of beating up the women to lessen the total amount of violence in the world by saving the children.
Now, of course hypothetical situations like that are absurd, but the point I’m trying to make is that people paint themselves into corners by carrying around these slanted beliefs against things. If you think it’s never acceptable to be critical of a woman, then you’re going to be turning a blind eye to bad behavior (everybody knows it’s OK to be critical of a man’s behavior, so you don’t even have to mention that). Again, I still think racial epithets are unsavory, but I can’t think of a logical argument for NEVER using an epithet that is generally applied to women. The reasons are: A. you can always apply those epithets to men too…with equal insultability and B. some women deserve to be called some pretty nasty names.
I guess what I’m saying is, don’t be critical about labeling somebody a bitch, be critical of the behaviors that provoke the label.