Why Male and Female Port-a-Pots?


Ok, here is one of my major pet peeves in life.  Why the hell do you designate some port-a-pots as male and some as female?  For the love of GOD, it’s a ONE SEATER!  Who frickin’ cares if it’s male or female?

But the issue is deeper than that.  Because of the ever present GENDER WAR that seems to be tearing the human race apart, race organizers always feel obligated to get the same number of port-a-pots for men and women.
Now LOOK, I’m 100% for equality, and my version of equality means that there should be the same number of port-a-pots PER MALE COMPETITOR as there are port-a-pots PER FEMALE COMPETITOR.  What that DOESN’T mean is that you get an equal number of male and female port-a-pots!  What if there are 600 women at the event and 10 men?  Now, all of a sudden, if you’ve got 100 male port-a-pots and 100 female port-a-pots the poor women have to stay in line for six hours while the men can all go to the bathroom five different times before the race and never use the same port-a-pot twice.  THAT’S NOT EQUALITY THAT’S FUCKING STUPID!
I’m not sure what the gender split was in the 102Mediamarathon de Lima, but my guess is that it wasn’t 50/50.  10 years ago when I used to do a lot of races the split was pretty consistently about 70% men and 30% women.  See…this is a problem because the US is so anti-male that you can’t pitch the argument I just pitched and have anybody listen to you reasonably.  To make matters worse, you get a bunch of women standing around saying that they “deserve” more port-a-pots because they “take longer.”  I say BULLSHIT to that, taking longer is a choice, learn to go faster and have respect for your fellow human beings (not to mention competitors).  Women aren’t disabled, they don’t need twice as many bathrooms.
Actually, I used to comandeer women’s bathrooms up at the American Birkebeiner because I thought it was bullshit how the men were in line out into the hallway and around the corner and the women’s bathrooms were empty.  God that used to piss people off, but fuck them.  In order to be EQUAL and to  RESPECT AND MAINTAIN  EQUALITY, it’s really up to the race organizers to see what the ratio of men to women is at the race and then set up their bathrooms accordingly.
Or they could dodge the whole issue by making ALL THE PORT-A-POTS GENDERLESS!!!!
See how much easier that is?
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2 Comments

  1. owen
    09/22/2016
    Reply

    Current Affairs comes to SOL.

    Interestingly enough I was at the Red Hot Chili Peppers concert in the almost refurbished Nationl Stadium (more about that on an another post)last night.

    Now if you had gone to the RHCP concert to pick up some hot babe you would have been shit out of luck. This was a heavily male dominated event. (I went neither to see the band or meet babes, a friend of mine invited me so was probably the only person there who only new three of the songs they played.)

    So you end up with is the rather unusual situation of massive lines outside the male porta-pots and a huge row of unused female porta pots.

    Luckily as the night wore people started to ignore the stupid labels or even better peel them off and turn them in to unisex piss soaked plastic boxes.

  2. Dean Charles Marshall
    09/22/2016
    Reply

    I don't want to get off on a rant here, but equality is overrated and tends to border on the absurd. The truth is, port-o-pots satisfy a number of urges, and not just the ones after consuming too many cervezas or that overly spicy carnitas platter, but that need to defecate in privacy and with dignity away from the maddening crowds. Unfortunately whether designated male or female, when you "gotta go you gotta go" so after a long day at the races or festival these wonderfully hygienic inventions of mass produced port-o-pots degenerate into disgusting quagmires of bodily functions run amok. Jeez, talk about biohazard receptacles. But isn't that the essence of equality? That at the end of the day all our shit smells the same.

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