‘This is Only a Test’ by BJ Hollars
I picked up this book as part of my 2019 campaign to be more engaged with local writers and the local writing community. My thinking is that it’s ridiculous that a guy like Chris Kroeze has to be “anointed” by folks out in California for us to take him seriously back home. In an ideal world, artists should be able to build up a local following and then use that to take the jump to the next level. I figure if I’m going to propose such a concept I have to lead by example.
BJ Hollars does a lot in the Chippewa Falls/Eau Claire writing community. I learned of him through his work with the Chippewa Valley Writers Guild which actively supports local writers. Hollars is also a professor at the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire. I had high expectations for his book and I’m pleased to say I was not disappointed.
‘This is Only a Test’ is a collection of essays that, according to the citations at the back, were previously published in other journals prior to the publication of this book. The essays are all of high quality and are related in that they deal with disasters or tragedies told with a stark sense of humility. The other major theme in this collection is parenthood, and the overall effect of combining these two themes is a philosophical meditation on the terrible power, unparalleled beauty, and sometimes merciless cruelty of the world we inhabit.
In the first chapter, Hollars recounts surviving a tornado with his wife and yet unborn child. I was interested in the use of present tense in the tornado chapters which brought a striking immediacy to the scene. I’ve seen present tense used more often lately particularly in the works of Jean Lee and Janet Morris. I’ve been told that publishers are less inclined to accept works that sprinkle in the present tense, but there seems to be mounting evidence to the contrary. Plus, the effectiveness of the technique is hard to refute.
The tornado theme reminded me of ‘North of Highway 8’ where Dan Woll discussed the Barnveld tornado that resulted in disaster in June of 1984. It’s interesting to compare how both Woll and Hollars felt a need to expel emotions through the act of writing, and if not make sense of what nature’s destructive power can make you feel, at least come to terms with it. At one point in ‘This is Only a Test’ Hollars writes a chapter in the form of a multiple choice test, which is both amusing and entertaining provided you can get over the visceral reaction of your absolute, unmitigated hatred for standardized tests.
The book goes into a section on drowning, and there’s a very well told story about a boy who got locked in a refrigerator. I, too, am from the generation where our parents warned us about refrigerators, as if abandoned units lurked in every dark alley to leap out and gobble us up. I haven’t felt the need to tell my own daughters about the dangers of refrigerators, I guess I’ll make a point of it the next time we watch ‘Breaking Away.’
There is a large biographical component of this book, but it would be wrong to call the book a memoir. It’s more a journal of philosophical musings provoked by major events that we have little to no control over. It’s interesting to consider the similarities that exist between a destructive moment like a tornado and something like the joyous celebration of the birth of your first child. Both of these moments will remain in your mind forever, both of them change your lives, both of them let us know how small we are in the larger scheme of things.
Hollars engages the philosophical contradictions of life with wry humor and grand humility. ‘This is Only a Test’ is an attempt to wrestle with the kind of questions that we might be biologically programmed to avoid. The prose approaches poetry at times, and Hollars enjoys ending his sentences with a twist that makes you reconsider the overall meaning. This is a good book to bring with you on a canoeing trip, or on a hike in the woods. It doesn’t necessarily aspire to offer you any answers, but it does a good job in taking the edge off the questions. But don’t take my word for it, please read, review, and share your thoughts below:
