My family has a conundrum.
The kids are at that age where the only thing they want in this whole wide world is a dog. They try to subtly bring it into conversation, and by ‘subtle’ I mean they make frequent and overt declarations that our family needs a dog.
“Can we get a dog?”
“We need a dog.”
“I think we have room for a dog.”
They seek out dogs to adopt among our friends and family. They don’t ask to go see Grandma, they go ask to see Bella—Grandma’s dog. My friend Dan has a Bernese Mountain dog named Emmit. When Emmit comes over, the presence of Dan is an afterthought.
“Who is Dan?” the kids ask afterwards.
“Dan is that guy who is always around Emmit.”
“Oh, how is Emmit, can he come and visit today?”
At Christmas time, they spend the money they’ve acquired through simple chores or losing teeth on presents for the dogs. “I think Bella will just love this!” or “Won’t Emmit be surprised!”
The truth is, my wife and I would love to have a dog. Both of us grew up with dogs, and dogs are the layer of varnish that solidifies a family when it has matured to the point of stability. However, ours is a family that has roots in both Peru and the United States, and we just haven’t figured out the right equation that would allow us to get a dog.
My wife’s family is from Peru, and we try to get down to Peru frequently and for lengthy trips. Our whole lives and careers have been arranged to accommodate the necessity of allowing our children to grow up in two different cultures. Our work is freelance or seasonal to give us flexibility, unfortunately that flexibility would be severely hampered by a dog.
Bringing the dog with us on a trip is not an option. There are too many stories of dogs that die in airplane storage, or are otherwise mistreated on commercial airlines. It’s tough enough making sure the kids are treated well when you get on an airplane. If I had to defend a dog as well as the kids, I’m almost sure I’d end up tased.
“Well, you could just leave the dog with Grandma,” the kids suggest. That might be an option at some point. Grandma has a large property and she already attends to dogs. But still, people don’t realize how tough it is on a dog to not be around its people. They suffer if they go a long time without seeing you.
The kids more or less understand this, but they still leave their ‘subtle as a ton of bricks’ pleas to get a dog. I’m sure that in a few more years this problem will start to resolve itself. The kids will begin to develop more of a social life in the United States and will be reluctant to go to Peru for long stretches of time. Perhaps then we can seriously consider getting a dog. But how long can a dog handle being away from its people? Two weeks? Three? Is it fair to get a dog when you know you’ll be away from it for so long? The thing that makes dogs great is how much they simply want to be around you. If you force the dog to learn to tolerate your absence, what’s the point?
For the time being, our kids can content themselves with all their adopted dogs. There are many advantages, there are no messes to clean up, no illnesses, no shedding hair around the house. I’m fairly certain that there will come a memorable day when we finally do choose a family puppy. The great thing about dogs is, you are never too old to enjoy one.
