10 Reasons to Hate Facebook

The second you read the title of this article, you might label me a hypocrite.  The fact is, a fair number of “Streets of Lima“‘s readers come to me through Facebook.  One of the easiest ways to promote the page is through the Facebook “Like” option (if you haven’t “liked” my page already, you can do it by clicking here right now).

But let’s face it folks (nice pun) Facebook is annoying.  I use it because I HAVE to use it (and there’s plenty of things that I hate which I use on a daily basis…just because something’s useful doesn’t mean you have to like it…see fanny pack controversy).  There’s no bigger time suck in the world, and the thing that really burns me about Facebook is that it just proves that most people are 100%, perfectly satisfied without expressing more than 140 or so characters of their opinion at a time.
Seriously?  I’m barely through the INTRODUCTION to what I’m going to be talking about in 140 Characters.
Well, it’s not a total loss, but the end result is that I just wire all my accounts into Facebook so that Facebook can do the promoting of my blogs for me (that and the occasional game of waka-waka are pretty much all I ever use Facebook for).  But even that minimal amount is enough to get you into trouble…as you will see in my 10 reasons list.  So without further ado, here are 10 reasons to hate Facebook:
1.  Facebook has made it a necessity that you have to write all your frickin’ articles in “top 10 list” form.  As anybody who has ever walked the internet knows, if it’s not in the format of a top 10 list…you don’t need to know it.
2.  It makes it hard to separate your friends into neat, sanitary, compartmentalized groups.  Honestly, if you’re a single guy, Facebook is the stupidest thing in the world to have an account on.  “Entrapment book” is what they should call it.  Or perhaps “Drama” book.  “Why the hell didn’t you change your status to ‘in a relationship’?”  Newsflash…one sweaty night does not a relationship status change make (that should be on a T-Shirt).
3.  Zuckerberg thinks he has created some noble social phenomenon.  Nope, it’s just a slightly more socially acceptable way to either hook up or show off baby pictures.  That’s IT!
4.  They change the format every five frickin’ seconds to eliminate all the features that were actually useful in terms of business.  
5.  You can’t mass email thousands of people in your own group anymore, because I suppose Zuckerberg decided that mass communication through Facebook somehow infringed on the Facebook noble ideal.
6.  The dude pretty much stole the idea of Facebook from two dudes at Harvard.
7.  The fact that my fan page and my personal Facebook accounts will probably be deleted for having written this article.
8.  You only know about 10 of the people on your friends list…yet Facebook insists on making you display all the pertinent personal data that identity thieves need to hack your bank account.
9.  If you log into your Facebook account from overseas, the computer immediately “recognizes” that you might be a foreign intruder (apparently travel is SOOOO IMPROBABLE among Facebook users that the designers actually thought this was a reasonable security protocol) and it forces you to verify your identity.  Unfortunately the method of verifying your identity is to have you identify 10 of your random Facebook friends (who you don’t even know) or give them the birthday you put in when you initially made your account (which is false if you have any brains at all).
10.  It’s just one more way for people to track you down.
So that’s pretty much it.  Watch as I get completely erased from the internet for having written this now…oh well…
Don’t forget to “like” me.
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  1. Anonymous

    I have a Facebook account, but I hardly ever use it. I try to keep my life as simple as possible, and not bothering with Facebook helps to fulfill that goal. Life in Lima is challenging enough, especially when driving,so I really don't want to bother with Facebook and have another thing, such as identity theft, to worry about. I did find your post interesting. thanks for taking the time to write it.

  2. Dean Charles Marshall

    Facebook is "online voyeurism" masquerading as social networking. It's primarily designed for people whose personal lives are so bland, boring and insignificant that they have to pimp off someone else's insignificance just to derive some superficially phony sense of camaraderie. Talk about the epitome of pathos. It's like mass self delusion run amok. The worst part is how unbelievably naive and stupid people are when it comes to handing over their personal privacy to a "spooge monkey" shyster like Mark Zuckerberg. Mark's morality and integrity can be summed up best in two words – MO' MONEY. The truth is, Facebook is this incredibly monolithic "data mining" operation that under the guise of social networking sucks up a person's personal and private information and then resells it to the highest bidder. It's amazing how a little algorithm stolen from some trusting partners got Mark's creepy, punk ass face on the cover of Time magazine and his bank account awash with billions. Facebook is simply "techno masturbation" for the masses. Thankfully I never opted in and never will. So who wants cuy?

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